“Don’t correct”


Posted on January 24th, by Gaetano in Blog. No Comments

cenote divers

The vast and undefinable relationship between the internal world of the Coach and the external world brought by the Coachee is one of the things which has fascinated me the most since I first set out on the journey of Coaching.

I want to share with you what once, in answering my question about which was the best way to educate your children, my Tai Ki teacher – with the classic brevity of ancient wisdom – replied: ‘don’t correct’.

These two simple words have stuck in my mind ever since, and through the discipline of coaching I’ve been able to really add meaning to their depth. As a father the idea of ‘not correcting’ seemed idealistically attractive, but almost impossible to put into play. My own parents had established rules and boundaries, which I was duty bound to respect, at the expense of my own desires and expectations. But then I came to realize what ‘don’t correct’ really means (even if I didn’t always manage to put it into practice). It doesn’t mean leaving your children to their own devices, free to act on their every whim or fancy. It means being in touch with them, respecting their uniqueness, their vocation, and with them being themselves, even if they are not always aware of it.

A tricky task, but one which with Coaching I quickly had to learn to put into action: the “You art Thou!”; a huge and magnificent appreciation of the potential perfection of others. (see my post on Bodhisattva vow and Coaching of this blog http://www.easycoaching.it/?p=711).

There are so many things I could say on the subject because the words ‘don’t correct’ open up such a wealth of considerations. ‘Don’t correct’ because there’s nothing to fix: instead welcome, share and highlight.

One final image: the physical sensation which I experienced in my first ever coaching session is one that has cropped up many times since. That of diving, together with the Coachee, into a light, bright, underwater cave where I stay for part or all of the session, suspended alongside my partner. That’s where the exchange happens; the profound connection which allows the partner to contact and discover his innermost being. With this sensation and ‘don’t correct’ in mind, I realized that underwater immersion grants us the ability not to modify the environment around us, but to hang as it were, in synergy with oneself; rather like the experience of coaching.

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